Moms are the veritable shit.
Sorry for swearing, but ladies, you're awesome. You know it. Work it. Yeeeeeeah.
Obviously, my Momma--the other L Minton--truly stands unopposed. She fed and dressed me for years, she's still paying off my student loans, she's supported almost any goal or crazy-ass dream I've come upon. Ever. She loves my almost-husband and my cat almost as much as I do. She's smart, funny, gorgeous and I could swear the sun shines out of her butt. To put the cherry on that sundae--she birthed me. Like, grew me somewhere under her kidneys and pushed until a doctor slammed a needle in her spine, threw her intestines onto a nearby table, and presented me, squealing and bloody, to the world.
Hat's off to you, Marm. They don't come better than you.
But I am writing to you, tonight, Dear Reader--as a woman fortunate enough to have been shaped, and continually supported by an entire network of women I like to call my "Othermothers" (because if you say it just right--it kinda rhymes). Not only did I solicit their beauteous presences for my wedding--I actually tried to enlist their help. And these gracious, goddess-like ladies are pulling out all the stops! I thought I'd take a moment to tell you a little about each of them and update you on wedding progress at the same time. Cool huh? (Don't answer)
In chronological order via "acquisition" aka The-day-I just-started-calling-them-Marm-and-it-didn't-feel-weird
Cyndi: I can't remember a time in my life when this femme warrior-bard wasn't in my life. I grew up alongside her two daughters, Ali and Emily and call myself fortunate enough to always feel at home in their fam. As a woman of higher education--and feeling bound for it myself--for many years she was the academic standard to which I held myself accountable, and her previous interest in Anthropology was completely invaluable to me once the discipline became my career path. (Now if only I could find where it went...) This glib and gorgeous Othermother will be the Celebrant of the ceremony! Can you believe it?! I'm beside myself excited to have someone I know, love, and trust tie Dennis and I into brand new family.
Connie: Stunning, and soft-spoken with a glorious laugh, Connie and my Dad got married when I was nine. Although I never lived with my Dad and Connie, I always felt like a member of the family--and Connie always let me know how much she cared and loved me. Connie owns her own events company and has graciously agreed to lend me a whole-slew of rental-quality equipment FOR FREE (more than quartering that part of the budget) and help arrange it to make it perdy. I simply cannot thank her enough for her generosity in this arena!
June: I'm pretty sure that June is actually the definition of 'sassy.' June is actually my Maid of Honor (Ariel!)'s madre and one of the most rockin' people on the planet. With her funky style, eye for detail and awesome skills, I was super-stoked when she offered to help me DIY the wedding flowers! Hat's off to you, June. We're gonna get our blooms on. I'll bring the champagne!
Out,
-L
28 March, 2011
22 March, 2011
Another word for time, power, and melted cheese
That's right: MONEY.
Now, before I dive in--what I want to know is... how did the subject of money and weddings become so taboo? I already hesitated on the title, the opening sentence, and now this one. Bridal-brain says You shouldn't be blogging this.
But in the spirit of trail-blazing (HA), and my penchant for social transparency I defiantly shake my fist to the sky.
And I say: Who did this?
Who turned one of the best days of my life into a several thousand dollar ordeal? Was it the credit card companies, bridal boutiques, the Russians or all of the above? I really don't understand.
Thus far, I've been able to surmise that for some time there have been a couple extremes in the wedding world. Introducing...
The Broke-Ass Bride: Anywhere from $100 to $6,000 to spend on the big day. Most of this falls on credit cards. Most of this comes out of the couple's own pocket. A lot of ramen is consumed. A lot of favors are called in, and lots of friends are invited over to help (literally) construct a wedding. Tears are shed. But ultimately the twin goals of 'wedding' and 'marriage' are accomplished. (This is not to infringe on the actual Broke-Ass Bride whom I love and adore)
The Well-Off Bride: Who knows where their budget is? Sure, they get stressed--but usually are able to throw money at the problem without too much of an issue. Sacrifices will be made, sleep will still be lost. But at the end of their nuptials they are usually able to look around themselves and be quite content with everything they found and purchased. I love you Well-Off Brides, make no mistake. But I envy you entirely.
Because a new type of bride is emerging. And at once she is glorious and not so pretty.
The Broke-Ass Bride 2.0.
To be entirely up front, yes, I do fall squarely into this category.
Before I began my own wedding planning odyssey, I would never (ever) have thought in my wildest dreams that the kind of laid-back and casual wedding I had in mind could not possibly be done for $10,000. I would never (ever) have thought in my craziest nightmare that I could be considered on a tight budget or as a "low-end Bride" (wtf does that even mean?). But here I am, folks! In all my target-clearance, noodle-scarfing splendor.
The BAB 2.0 is really an emerging demographic, but is serving to offset the polarity between the Well-Off and the previous Broke-Ass. All of a sudden the costs of weddings are skyrocketing. Brides (and grooms!) that want a truly touching, gorgeous, and personal wedding are on the ropes. In this market, you have to do three things to have a wedding that even comes close to your dreams:
1) Put your thinking cap on and get seriously scary smart/ruthless
2) Get your gardening gloves out and get ready to get dirty and work hard
3) Get lucky
Lots of Brides and their Maidys and their menfolk have to bust a move on their weddings--doing a lot themselves, making steep sacrifices and doing tons of research. But a seriously dark side is lurking in the shadows. "One-down-manship" is at an all-time high. How am I supposed to have a great, photogenic wedding when I simultaneously understand that I a) Can't do everything myself and b) Don't have the money to have other people do it for me?
Why is all this stuff so expensive?!!!
***Editor's Note: I'm sure the Ohio couple with their glorious wedding are awesome people. I sincerely mean it. But I have never been so down on my Brideself as when I saw that wedding, it's price tag and starting comparing it to mine.
Now, before I dive in--what I want to know is... how did the subject of money and weddings become so taboo? I already hesitated on the title, the opening sentence, and now this one. Bridal-brain says You shouldn't be blogging this.
But in the spirit of trail-blazing (HA), and my penchant for social transparency I defiantly shake my fist to the sky.
And I say: Who did this?
Who turned one of the best days of my life into a several thousand dollar ordeal? Was it the credit card companies, bridal boutiques, the Russians or all of the above? I really don't understand.
Thus far, I've been able to surmise that for some time there have been a couple extremes in the wedding world. Introducing...
The Broke-Ass Bride: Anywhere from $100 to $6,000 to spend on the big day. Most of this falls on credit cards. Most of this comes out of the couple's own pocket. A lot of ramen is consumed. A lot of favors are called in, and lots of friends are invited over to help (literally) construct a wedding. Tears are shed. But ultimately the twin goals of 'wedding' and 'marriage' are accomplished. (This is not to infringe on the actual Broke-Ass Bride whom I love and adore)
The Well-Off Bride: Who knows where their budget is? Sure, they get stressed--but usually are able to throw money at the problem without too much of an issue. Sacrifices will be made, sleep will still be lost. But at the end of their nuptials they are usually able to look around themselves and be quite content with everything they found and purchased. I love you Well-Off Brides, make no mistake. But I envy you entirely.
Because a new type of bride is emerging. And at once she is glorious and not so pretty.
The Broke-Ass Bride 2.0.
To be entirely up front, yes, I do fall squarely into this category.
Before I began my own wedding planning odyssey, I would never (ever) have thought in my wildest dreams that the kind of laid-back and casual wedding I had in mind could not possibly be done for $10,000. I would never (ever) have thought in my craziest nightmare that I could be considered on a tight budget or as a "low-end Bride" (wtf does that even mean?). But here I am, folks! In all my target-clearance, noodle-scarfing splendor.
The BAB 2.0 is really an emerging demographic, but is serving to offset the polarity between the Well-Off and the previous Broke-Ass. All of a sudden the costs of weddings are skyrocketing. Brides (and grooms!) that want a truly touching, gorgeous, and personal wedding are on the ropes. In this market, you have to do three things to have a wedding that even comes close to your dreams:
1) Put your thinking cap on and get seriously scary smart/ruthless
2) Get your gardening gloves out and get ready to get dirty and work hard
3) Get lucky
Lots of Brides and their Maidys and their menfolk have to bust a move on their weddings--doing a lot themselves, making steep sacrifices and doing tons of research. But a seriously dark side is lurking in the shadows. "One-down-manship" is at an all-time high. How am I supposed to have a great, photogenic wedding when I simultaneously understand that I a) Can't do everything myself and b) Don't have the money to have other people do it for me?
Why is all this stuff so expensive?!!!
***Editor's Note: I'm sure the Ohio couple with their glorious wedding are awesome people. I sincerely mean it. But I have never been so down on my Brideself as when I saw that wedding, it's price tag and starting comparing it to mine.
21 March, 2011
A Hit and a Miss
***Edit: Sorry for my momentary loss of sanity, but Kat Williams just does that to me.***
Sooooooo--this is no secret: I love weddings. I love talking about my wedding--writing about my wedding. And very very mostly, I love blogging about my wedding
.
So the decision to apply as a blogger at the amazing, splendiferous Wedding Bee was met with zero hesitation. For the past three weeks I have entertained some of the most ridiculous "Bee" fantasies imaginable. From what my first post would be titled ("Ready to Rock") and my Bee handle ("Mrs. Jackalope").
But I didn't get in. Rats!
BUTGUESSWHATI'MBESIDEMYSELFABOUT?
Everyone EVERYONE needs to go here and vote for us!
WE'RE FINALISTS IN A CONTEST.
BECAUSE MY WEDDING INSPIRATION BOARD IS NOW ON A WORLD-FAMOUS WEDDING WEBSITE AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA DIE OF EXCITEMENT.
I SERIOUSLY FREAKED OUT IN MY YOGURT THIS MORNING.
Enough caps! Just go! I can't even type about it more!
-L
Sooooooo--this is no secret: I love weddings. I love talking about my wedding--writing about my wedding. And very very mostly, I love blogging about my wedding
.
So the decision to apply as a blogger at the amazing, splendiferous Wedding Bee was met with zero hesitation. For the past three weeks I have entertained some of the most ridiculous "Bee" fantasies imaginable. From what my first post would be titled ("Ready to Rock") and my Bee handle ("Mrs. Jackalope").
But I didn't get in. Rats!
BUTGUESSWHATI'MBESIDEMYSELFABOUT?
Everyone EVERYONE needs to go here and vote for us!
WE'RE FINALISTS IN A CONTEST.
BECAUSE MY WEDDING INSPIRATION BOARD IS NOW ON A WORLD-FAMOUS WEDDING WEBSITE AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA DIE OF EXCITEMENT.
I SERIOUSLY FREAKED OUT IN MY YOGURT THIS MORNING.
Enough caps! Just go! I can't even type about it more!
-L
17 March, 2011
Ceremony? Schmeremony
What's a secular couple to do?
Folks let me tell you about the climate of wedding ceremonies these days--cause it gets weird, cliche, and overdone faster than you can lick the stamps for your invites.
Neither Dennis nor myself are religious people, so the thought of a religious ceremony never entered the picture. Neither of us were really even raised in a religious environment, so the culture behind the religion isn't of particular importance either. Both of us like to see the beauty and importance in day-to-day life as well as keep honor and dignity (Did I say that?) in our respective characters because we believe it's important for our humanity not for divine purpose. We're our own people--grounded in our own familial and socio-cultural backgrounds. But, I for one, never allow myself to feel weighted down by some traditional obligation. That is--unless I like it!
Well, we're definitely not the only ones.
Couples in every nook and cranny of the U.S. these days are opting to make their weddings as personal as possible. Many brides and grooms nowadays are adopting a(n awesome) take-it or leave-it approach to traditional weddings. Hate the garter toss? Screw it. Don't like the whole "You may kiss the Bride?" schpeal? Leave it out!
Lots of folks are even taking it a step further--instead of just editing theho hum tried and true Western marriage ceremony and vows, people are chucking it out entirely! Entirely new and original non-secular rituals are popping up everywhere. (Sorry, my anthropologist is showing) And the coolest part? They're in vogue, and taking weddings by storm.
Now I'm ALL FOR sticking it to the man. In general. And most of the time. But when you're trying to write your own ceremony and looking for inspiration, you read some... really uninspiring stuff. Here's are a few of the doozies that I've found--and their related, but different counterparts that really stuck with me.
Schmeremony? Sand mixing. Becoming very common with coastal folk. So Joe from the Jersey shore marries Becky from South Beach and both of them get a cup of sand from their home beaches and mix them together in front of everyone and keep this can of mixed sand to display in their home. What? So... you can pour sand. Together. And keep it in a jar. It just falls flat to me.
Ceremony! Unity cocktail or wine. I wouldn't be surprised if this originated with a couple Californians. The happy couple invents a cocktail that defines them or each pick a bottle of wine for themselves. During the ceremony, the Officiant (or as I like to say--Celebrant) says some words about individuality, and the couple pours the stuff together and then split the glass. I mean, at least you drink this one!
Schmeremony? I don't know what you'd even call it. The Celebrant opens the ceremony and asks everyone present to take a moment to pray/concentrate... To be honest I'm a little confused how people even dress this up as anything but "Please radiate good vibes, Dude." My main problem is--it's really intangible. Most of the people we know would just sit there a bit confused. I mean, it's intent is great--but really? I think you'd need a specific crowd not to have at least one eye-roll.
Ceremony! Believe it or not--Audience participation. The Celebrant (usually towards the beginning of the ceremony) asks everyone present to stand up and shout! I've found several actual phrasings that I love a whole bunch--most of them involve asking the couple to face their gathered friends and family while they rise. Next, the Celebrant makes a schpeal about forming a community of support for the newlyweds and asking the audience if they promise to love, support, and help the new couple through their new lives as best they can. Everyone who feels comfortable shouts something like "YEAH!" or "WOOOOOO!" You get the picture. I love it!
Schmeremony? Handfasting. You tie a rope around your arms to signify that you're being bound together--it's based off an old Celtic tradition. Like you're actually physically tied to them. At all times.
Ceremony! Handfasting. Ok, I love it. But I'm an Irish girl. And nowadays they're usually more flexible with the ceremony wording--I even read one ceremony where they read Ogden Nash's famous "To Love Is Not to Possess" poem immediately after. A modern update on an ages old and culturally relevant ritual? Yes, please.
***Disclaimer: I frequently 'yuck' other people's 'yum.' I'm not trying to be hater, and I apologize. I'm just quippy, and a little bit of a smart ass, and that's how I roll. You and your's should do what feels right for your ceremony. ***
A Shrek wedding apparently. (Source)
Folks let me tell you about the climate of wedding ceremonies these days--cause it gets weird, cliche, and overdone faster than you can lick the stamps for your invites.
Neither Dennis nor myself are religious people, so the thought of a religious ceremony never entered the picture. Neither of us were really even raised in a religious environment, so the culture behind the religion isn't of particular importance either. Both of us like to see the beauty and importance in day-to-day life as well as keep honor and dignity (Did I say that?) in our respective characters because we believe it's important for our humanity not for divine purpose. We're our own people--grounded in our own familial and socio-cultural backgrounds. But, I for one, never allow myself to feel weighted down by some traditional obligation. That is--unless I like it!
Well, we're definitely not the only ones.
Couples in every nook and cranny of the U.S. these days are opting to make their weddings as personal as possible. Many brides and grooms nowadays are adopting a(n awesome) take-it or leave-it approach to traditional weddings. Hate the garter toss? Screw it. Don't like the whole "You may kiss the Bride?" schpeal? Leave it out!
Lots of folks are even taking it a step further--instead of just editing the
Now I'm ALL FOR sticking it to the man. In general. And most of the time. But when you're trying to write your own ceremony and looking for inspiration, you read some... really uninspiring stuff. Here's are a few of the doozies that I've found--and their related, but different counterparts that really stuck with me.
Schmeremony? Sand mixing. Becoming very common with coastal folk. So Joe from the Jersey shore marries Becky from South Beach and both of them get a cup of sand from their home beaches and mix them together in front of everyone and keep this can of mixed sand to display in their home. What? So... you can pour sand. Together. And keep it in a jar. It just falls flat to me.
Ceremony! Unity cocktail or wine. I wouldn't be surprised if this originated with a couple Californians. The happy couple invents a cocktail that defines them or each pick a bottle of wine for themselves. During the ceremony, the Officiant (or as I like to say--Celebrant) says some words about individuality, and the couple pours the stuff together and then split the glass. I mean, at least you drink this one!
Schmeremony? I don't know what you'd even call it. The Celebrant opens the ceremony and asks everyone present to take a moment to pray/concentrate... To be honest I'm a little confused how people even dress this up as anything but "Please radiate good vibes, Dude." My main problem is--it's really intangible. Most of the people we know would just sit there a bit confused. I mean, it's intent is great--but really? I think you'd need a specific crowd not to have at least one eye-roll.
Ceremony! Believe it or not--Audience participation. The Celebrant (usually towards the beginning of the ceremony) asks everyone present to stand up and shout! I've found several actual phrasings that I love a whole bunch--most of them involve asking the couple to face their gathered friends and family while they rise. Next, the Celebrant makes a schpeal about forming a community of support for the newlyweds and asking the audience if they promise to love, support, and help the new couple through their new lives as best they can. Everyone who feels comfortable shouts something like "YEAH!" or "WOOOOOO!" You get the picture. I love it!
Schmeremony? Handfasting. You tie a rope around your arms to signify that you're being bound together--it's based off an old Celtic tradition. Like you're actually physically tied to them. At all times.
Ceremony! Handfasting. Ok, I love it. But I'm an Irish girl. And nowadays they're usually more flexible with the ceremony wording--I even read one ceremony where they read Ogden Nash's famous "To Love Is Not to Possess" poem immediately after. A modern update on an ages old and culturally relevant ritual? Yes, please.
***Disclaimer: I frequently 'yuck' other people's 'yum.' I'm not trying to be hater, and I apologize. I'm just quippy, and a little bit of a smart ass, and that's how I roll. You and your's should do what feels right for your ceremony. ***
14 March, 2011
More than one inside joke I guess
But here is a serious new source of FUNspiration.
I'll make up new words at my... lizurier. (O Ariel! Celebrate Ariel...)
I'll make up new words at my... lizurier. (O Ariel! Celebrate Ariel...)
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